Wish Me Luck

I've done something & I'm not going to say what it is cuz I don't want to jinx it.

I just want you all to think good things for me & mayhaps it will happen. 

So, I'm Turning Into Bronco B...

Trixie & I had a fun-filled weekend at The Fringe in ToonTown, & whilst waiting patiently in the audience for Death:Live! {a musical about the impending death of the Angel of Death ~ isn't that a kicker?} to start, I chatted up the lady sitting next to me.  I thought she was a reporter, but nay!  A blogger like myself.  Well, not quite like me.  Cuz she posts waaaay more pics & has a fancy dancy blog & uses real words & such, but she blogs!

We had a friendly chat & exchanged URLs, & I realized, Holy Crapman! Bronco B does this ALL THE TIME!  He talks to strangers in line at the grocery store, whilst feeding the meter, walking down the street, shopping, in restaurants, at campgrounds...

If I had to turn into one of my parents, he just may be the lesser of two evils...


Anyhoo, go see her!  

Beck Had It Wrong

Just finishing up on a fabulouso weekend with good friends, good food, good drinks, good times.


Peanut & Vinnie traveled down from PA in the luxury sedan, joining Hussy from an Eggs-citing northern town.  We drank, we laughed, we stuffed our faces, we danced by the fire, we sang old songs, & thoroughly enjoyed each others' company.

Puffy took us on a driving tour of West-Central Saskatchewan, showing us where he works & taking in the Johnson Stone Wall at Smiley.  I squeezed in a visit with Belly & Beaner, in Dodge for their family reunion, & managed to pour some more boozes down my gullet.


During the weekend, it came to light that I have won another bet.  Yes, boys & girls, Wilma is soon going to be the proud owner of a new purse, courtesy of Hussy who broke down this week & bit her nails, thus losing the bet we made over a year ago.  Now, I am free to smoke if I so choose. I currently do not choose.  


I'm a winner, baby!


So, here's a little blast from the past that we all enjoyed this weekend.  Hope you enjoy it, too!

Festivus!

I have just spent 2.5 ~ yes, TWO POINT FIVE ~ hours packing for my week-long getaway to festival.  My initial plan to take The Bullet & save some gas has quickly proven to be ineffective, as the stuff I am bringing is a bigger mound than the entire car.

I wish I was kidding.

I have...

• 2 laundry baskets full {one is clothes, the other is costumes for the green room parties}
• 1 kitbag full of cosmetics, jewelry & shoes.
• 2 soft-sided coolers full of food, snacks,  & utensils.
• 1 laptop bag with laptop, chargers, blank CDs, etc.
• 2 large cloth bags full of props & costumes for the play.
• 1 traveling bar with boozes {much-needed}
• 1 large cloth bag with CD player, drinking cups, & The Cow
• 1 large cloth bag full of costume accessories, purses, & a head.
• 1 smaller cloth bag with CDs, medicine, & official meeting business stuffs.

This is beyond ridiculous.  I can't believe I'm going to have to rent a U-Haul to go to Moose Jaw for a week.


Photographic proof, boys & girls, of my insanity.

So, Um, I've Been Partying & Stuff...

Sweet jeebus, what a weekend.


15 women, aged 25ish to 70ish, road-tripping to The Jaw, drinking & spa-ing & eating & laughing & generally having a bang-up good time.


Someone, not mentioning any names {ahem...Wilma...cough,cough} may just possibly have gotten a teeny, tiny, wee bit drunk & poured herself into bed at 9:00 PM Friday night. NINE. PEE. EM!  In my defense, I had some dental work done on the 8th which has made my mouth supah sore & my teeth supah sensitive, resulting in a week of nothing but applesauce & liquids, so mayhaps that contributed to my inability to hold my liquor like the martini-swilling booze hound I normally am.


It's true. Honest to blog.  


What?  Oh, is that old now?  Well, considering I just upgraded my Sony Walkman (cassette version) to an iPod, I think I can milk that a little longer.


But, I digress.



Thankfully, mercifully, did not have a hangover on Saturday.  Had lunch with Betty & Sunshine {held her for almost 30 seconds before she started wailing.... Sunshine, not Betty}  went for a dip in the pewl, got beat up by a masseuse with the strongest hands evah, got bee-you-ti-ful, went shopping, bought the hottest shoes evah, went out for supper, back to the hotel to drink, bed by midnight.

Sunday, we packed up, had a late brunch & headed home.  So tired.


It was a more relaxed, less party-animal trip this year.  You know.... except for getting floor-lickin' drunk on Friday.  The things I do to amuse The Ville Mafia....




Oh yeah.  The shoes.  Dontcha wish you had a pair of these beauties?  Half price.  Real leather. Miz Mooz.  Their name is Burnette.  I'm not even kidding.

I shall be the belle of the ball!

Thank You For Adding Your Beauty To The Pool

I was dragged, kicking & screaming, back into reality this week.

After the whole Magda episode, I decided that as soon as I was able I was going to get in some pampering time. So, after getting the go-ahead from my doctor at the beginning of the month to resume living life, I made my reservations & drove 4 hours to spend two nights, three days at The Spa this week, soaking in the warm, healing waters, sleeping in, getting a massage, enjoying a pedicure, napping, & spoiling myself with room service.

I got in a great visit with The Pope, an amazing woman & former fellow actress who taught me TONS about theatre by setting a good example. We met for drinks, dinner, & gambling! YeeHaw ~ me likey the gambling.

I also managed to meet & greet a brand spankin' new baby, the beautiful Miss Sunshine, & yes, boys & girls, I held her. Several times. & she only cried a bit. Okay, fine. Every time I held her, but that only means she's normal. All babies do that to me. Can't imagine why....

One thing I learned this week was that I was made for pampering. This may not be news to some of you out there ~ okay, anyone who has ever met me has probably already made this discovery. I thoroughly enjoyed my time at The Spa, & reluctantly came home in order to work Friday. Friday was a crazay busy day at work, pushing money & answering questions. I only sat down twice during my entire shift. I was exhausted & in pain by the time we closed & wishing I was back in The Spa.

Whilst at The Spa, I noticed that the clientele was, um, how shall I say this delicately? Slightly aged. I imagine that the water feels as good on their infirmities as it did on mine. Sometimes we callously dismiss the elderly as unable to add anything to our experiences. Sometimes we regard them as no longer contributing to society.

Sometimes we are wrong.

One bright-eyed, smooth-talkin' lad of approximately 80 years gently interrupted me as I rested my head & my eyes at the side of the pool. "Excuse me," he said, in a melodious tenor. I lifted my head. We made eye contact. I lazily noticed his were a bright blue. "Thank you for adding your beauty to the pool," he said to me with a slight smile.

I smiled in return & said thank you.

What a great line, huh? I'm totally stealing that for a play.

*

*

*

*

*

*

I'm thinking he was quite the playah in his day.

Adventures In Water

Well, boys & girls, Wilma is headin' out, leavin' Dodge, blowin' town. That's right ~ it's time for an adventure! A mini-adventure of immense proportions.

12 ladies are headed to The Spa in the Jaw for 2 nights, 3 days & they reluctantly graciously invited me along. Some of these ladies are part of a group that has been nicknamed "The Ville Mafia".


Hmmmm.



I've got nothing to worry about, right?


Back Sunday in time for The Oscars! Who are you pickin'?

Music To My Ears

Last weekend, a friend & I headed out in blustery, snowy, wintery weather to Stoon for a special evening. We went to see the Saskatoon Chamber Orchestra perform at Third Avenue United Church. Wow! What a building!

Well, don't take my word for it. See for yourself.

Meanwhile, the music was fabulous! For the first time in my life, I got to watch the bassoon players work their magic. I got to hear a clarinetist as featured player. I got to enjoy an evening of music ~ & I showed my bladder who's boss by refusing to give in to the urge, thus ensuring I didn't miss any of the concert.

It's the small victories that taste the sweetest.

Plays, Pals, & Pottery

TheatreOne 2008. November 6-8th, Strasbourg, Saskatchewan. What a fab time!

I travelled down the lonesome highways & byways of our fair province, taking 6 hours to get in the big town {slight detour for shopping}. Shirley Rice & The Maiden graciously hosted me for the weekend ~ okay, 5 days ~ & treated me like a queen. Literally! I found out through super-sneaky-spy snooping {I Lurve Alliteration!} that The Maiden, in preparation for my arrival, ironed my sheets. For reals. They were so smooth I slid right out the bed!

So, we drank when I got there. Then we had a drink. Then we went to the bar for a drink. Good thing I went a day early so I could get my liver into fighting shape!

It was a fun, fun weekend. 6 plays, 3 green room nights, 1 football game {my poor Roughies lost}, many many friends, 2 presents, & a partridge in a pear tree!

Whilst there, we managed to squeeze in an adventure WITHIN an adventure, taking a trip to a Potter. A real, live potter who throws pots & stuff, like on a wheel. Behold!

The Kiln

Throwing Pots

Pots Thrown Whilst We Ooooo'd & Aaaaaaah'd

The Finished Products

Click on any of the photos to go to his website & check out his other work. He is also an amazing photographer! Special thanks to Miss Shirley Rice for arranging a field trip for us.

I splurged & treated myself to two of his pieces, since I had extra cash to throw around after winning $350.00 on a Nevada ticket the afternoon before in the, ahem, licenced establishment in town. The best part? I thought I'd won $3.50. Yup. I see decimals where there are none.

So, yeah, fesival was a great time ~ perma-headache notwithstanding ~ & it felt really good to connect with friends again. It was also good to break away from my hermiting ways for a few days.

Almost Famous

As you know, or mayhaps you don't, I write a little. I write some less than stellar poems, some nonsensical rants, & some nasty letters. What you may not know is that I also write plays. Mostly with partners J-Rod & Betty, but I have been known to write solo.

Last fall, we took one of our plays to Kamsack for festival, where it was seen & much admired by one Guardian Angel of the City-That-Rhymes-With-A-Lady-Part. Arrangements were made following our return home for their biggest group to perform the show at home. A spring production fell through, but we were thrilled that the play made the list for their fall show.

Puffy & I headed down to the Big Jaw during record-breaking gale force winds, managing to use only 3 drops of fuel on the 400 KM trip. We sat down to some pleasant conversation & even more pleasant wine with J-Rod & Betty, before heading out to the City-That-Rhymes-With-A-Lady-Part.

3 other productions to enjoy, & finally, our show! It was the finale of the night & what a performance! Most of the cast were quite young, as so not as experienced to the nuances of developing a character, but a couple of the director's choices made me laugh out loud ~ almost uproariously, in fact! Is it wrong to be that amused by your own jokes? J-Rod & I agreed ~ it most certainly wasn't. Mainly cuz we're freakin' brilliant.

& so, back home to Dodge we struggled the next day, the wind not having abated in the slightest & making the going much harder when you're facing it. We used considerably more gas.

Photos of this trip are virtually non-existent, as for some reason, I completely forgot I had a camera along. SO unlike me! Here's the one shot I managed:

Avast, Me Hearties! There be Pirates lurking on the starboard side. Yar!

Film At 11

On an adventure.

Photos & news upon my return.

Guess Where I Am?

... & don't you wish you were with me?

Le Médecin Dans Medicine Chapeau

After a long summer {with even fewer summerlike days for your holiday pleasure} & an even longer 7 weeks of work {my God! How did I survive?!?} I'm back to having my time be mine own. Hurrah! Hizzah! & all that other good stuff.

Sunday afternoon, Puffy & I went on an adventure. Well, not so much an adventure as a car trip to Medicine Hat for a doctor's appointment. But, it was kind of an adventure as neither of us had been on an overnight trip to the Hat {as all the cool kids call it} in our lives! Evah!

So, off we went after consulting several Google maps & friends, plotting our course to best take advantage of strategically placed towns for bathroom breaks {small bladder, really active ~ yet another thing wrong with me. Sigh}

I slept most of the way as the ol' stomach was acting up & I took a Gravol to settle things which made me SOOOOOO SLEEEEEEPY. Surprisingly, the friends knew more than Google & The Hat really is only 3 hours away from Dodge. Who knew?

We stayed at a great hotel, although sadly full of children {damn waterslides!} & ate at a fab restaurant where I stuffed myself on sushi & salmon. Literally stuffed. A quiet evening beached on the bed watching TV followed. Gosh, the romance isn't dead yet, hey boys & girls? The next morning, my fav part ~ ROOM SERVICE!

Then off to the neurologist, where I found out I'm not neurotic after all.

Some sights & sounds of our big adventure...

the big Saamis Teepee

the South Saskatchewan River

Big, scary-ass bridge, the kind that always make me cry & hyperventilate

More River area

More River area

& then I napped.

Jonesing For Some Jones

Here it is! To the best of my recollection & certainly not in order of performance, the playlist from Monday's concert:

Raise Your Hand
Help Yourself
He Stopped Loving Her Today
Delilah
What's New Pussycat?
She's a Lady
It's Not Unusual
Here's That Rainy Day
Fly Me to the Moon
End of the Road
200 Pounds of Joy
Cry for Home
I'll Never Fall in Love Again
Grandma's Hands
Git Me Some
You Can Leave Your Hat On
Green, Green Grass of Home
Sex Bomb
Resurrection Shuffle
I Like the Way You Move
Kiss

Me & Mr. Jones

I'm still in awe. I'm still in shock. It's shock & awe all around at Chez Wilma.

Monday night Betty, The Old Bag & I took in the Sir Tom Jones concert in The Big City. Can I just say, can I just mention, how freakin' fabulouso it was?



First ~ we were able to score primo seats in the second row. Yup, we were seated in the Orchestra Pit, the section that doesn't even appear on the seating map.

Second ~ Sir Jones did not disappoint. That voice! That accent! He moved, he danced, he shook his pants! He sang old favs, some new, some cover, & even a George Jones song {Frenchie, this made me laugh like a hyena & I thought of you}. I am currently working on a concert listing.

Third ~ one of the backup singers was the most beautiful man. I tried desperately to get a good photo of him but, alas, it was not meant to be. You'll have to take my word for it, he was pretty. Or, you can see him in living colour.




No, Tommy did not sing this song, but it's an amazing version. Just amazing.


Fourth ~ ran into T2 & T3 who were seated in the front row & may have been responsible for a panty or two being tossed onto the stage. Oh, they make me joyful.

Fifth ~ I was unable to meet & greet the Pontypridd Tiger himself. I worked hard at it, trying my damndest to score a face-to-face, writing a very eloquent letter to tomjones.com explaining our respect & admiration for Sir Jones & the inclusion of said Knight in all our plays, but was unsuccessful. He did tell us he'd be back, so I have some more time & some more chances left. He's only 68, you know!

This was the third time I've witnessed the genius that is Tom Jones in person, & it certainly won't be the last. Oh, Tommy. You still cause hearts to flutter!

Honest & for true, for as we were leaving, a paramedic & an usher went rushing past us with a wheelchair, headed to the auditorium.

Update: The lady sitting beside us had nevah, evah experienced Sir Jones in person. The 3 of us assured her that CDs do not do his voice justice, & she would be very impressed with his live performance. We saw her after the show {she was parked beside us in the lot ~ funny, n'est pas?} & she told us we did not lie. She thoroughly enjoyed the show.

Also, failed to mention the plethora of men in the audience. Last time we saw Tommy {March, 2004, I still have my ticket stub} there weren't many men in attendance. This time, I would say almost 25% of the audience were male & of all ages. There were 3 twenty-somethings sitting right behind us.

Ka-CHING!!!!

Edmonchuk. What a town. The kinda town where someone can a)shop at Ikea & spend $346.36 in less than an hour b)go out for a great meal & be entertained by the bartender & c) win $540.00 at the casino!!

Yes, my friends, my visit to Alberta's fair city {HAHAHAHA! Aidez-moi. Oh, that was great, I needed that.} was a fab success, as always.

Velvis & Bear were the perfect hosts, driving me to all sorts of places to do all sorts of things. They not only stocked up on my "special needs diet food", but also phoned around to various scooter dealers to see if there was a used one in stock. Lurve them!

Our adventure began with a near-death experience on the highway. Wilma, as usual, was fiddling with the radio dial & looked up to find a car coming my way passing a semi RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. Luckily, due to my lightning-fast reflexes & quick, agile mind, I was able to squeal & swerve out of the way to narrowly avoid a head-on collision. Note to Peanut: This was not my fault. He was in my lane & passing when the way was not clear. Just an FYI.

Our adventure continued into Edmonchuk, where massive road re-construction left me baffled as to where I was supposed to go. My directions, long-ago procured from Velvis, were now out-of-date. Luckily, I safely & correctly deduced the right way to go {I followed the most traffic} & made it to Casa VelBear, where I unloaded & parked the Wilmamobile for the weekend.

The rest of the weekend went thusly:

• Bear & I chatted & had beers.
• Velvis came home from work, we headed out to Ikea to spend, spend, spend!
• Went to OPM for a late supper. Spent 30-45 minutes in the lounge, chatting, eating appees & watching the bartender do his best 'Cocktail' imitation {he was good}, then gorged on some fabulous upscale Asian food. Yum, yum, YUM! I don't even remember what the hell I had ~ salmon, mayhaps? ~ but it was wonderful. So was the chocolate martini x 2 I threw down my gullet.
• 
  
  
• Up early Saturday {yes, for real, I was up & ready before lazy butt Velvis was out of bed.} Had a fab breakfast, then off to SHOPPING! Spent $210 on new clothes & essentials that I needed after Closet Cleanse 2008, saving a whopping $100 cuz of sales. I lurve Reitmans. I really, really do. Also managed to pick up a couple things at Pennington's. I am thisclose to striking off everything on my list. I'm very proud of me.
• Lunch! & Drinks! Yay!
• Horse races at Northlands. Velvis & I were pleasantly surprised to find Harness Racing this trip. We did even better than last time, managing to make money on the races. Yes, we did. We spent a total of $106 betting on the races, & collectively won $112. We are freakin' amazing! If you want to know our system, send $25 to me & I'll let you in on our secret gambling success secrets.
  
• 
• In between races, we drank $5 beer & played the slots. Wilma came out a big winner, making $540 smackeroos {that's 2160 credits, FYI} on a game that I can't even remember what it's called! After I won, the vultures swarmed to find out what I'd won. Seriously, what do strangers care what I've won? Some old dude came up & started telling me about how he'd just been playing that machine & blaah, blaah, blaah it wasn't paying off for him. So, I said "I guess you stopped playing too early, then." Like I care that he played on that machine! Go away, vultures! Velvis came by & saved me from further "discussions".
• Off home to get ready for supper at my fav spot, Lazia ~ although OPM is neck-in-neck now. One Mango Margarita, one glass of wine, appees & a Tandori Basa Whitefish with coconut rice later, we took our desserts home {OMG how yummy!} to get into our jam-jams & play Wii. My first Wii experience. Very fun, but I was stiff & sore in the arm & shoulder for days. I am so out of shape.
• Up early Sunday to attend the place-where-Velvis-worships & watch her ding-a-ling her bells. Musical service {my fav!} with two vocal choirs, the bell choir & lots of hymns.
• A quick stop at Giant Tiger proved fruitful as I picked up my fav buy of the weekend, a gorgeous sundress that makes me look amazing. Oh, & Betty Boop jammies. You can nevah, evah own too many Betty Boop jammies.
• Then lunch, more laughs & visiting & off home.
• I did have to stop & take a pic of the Liquor Store in Ryly, Alberta. Yes, boys & girls, you are correct. That is an Atco trailer with a hand-painted sign, wedged in-between a gas station & a propane tank. Classy!
• 

I can't thank my good friends, Velvis & Bear, enough for the wonderful weekend. Laughter, fun, casino money, shopping, good eats, good treats, good times.

Edmonchuck, Here I Come!

• gambling
• eating at great restaurants
• shopping
• betting on the horses
• & best of all, most important, visiting & laughing with Velvis & my twin, Bear.

An Open Letter To The Cult

Dear The Cult,

I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed your recent concert in Saskatoon. Frankly, you guys RAWK! It was a thrill to finally see you in person, something I never thought I’d get to do. Thank you so much for coming to my area. All those good thoughts I thought about you over the years must have paid off, even while I was getting you confused with The Cure. Sorry about that, by the way.

I would like to say that your opening band, The Clits, were also really good. I’d never heard of them before, but always like to be exposed to new bands. I’m still a little confused as to whether there were girls or boys in the band, as they all had sexually ambiguous names & dressed androgynously, but the lead singer’s Stevie Nicks/Melissa Etheridge voice was amazing! I would recommend The Clits to anyone… Peanut, stop interrupting me while I’m talking to The Cult! What!?!? You Lie!

So, apparently, the opening band was The Cliks. My bad. Although, The Clits is a really sweet name for a band. Mayhaps I’ll use that one day, when I’ve actually learned how to play guitar ~ well, more than “Smelly Cat” at least.

I digress.

I also wanted to apologize to you, The Cult, for the weird audience that you had to endure while you were performing. I’ve never seen anything like it before. Yes, the dance floor was full. Yes, there was one brave soul crowd surfing. But the rest of the people were just standing there, staring at you like cult members {no pun intended} lining up for their Jimmy Jones Kool-Aid. That can’t be good. No wonder you only did the expected encore & nothing more. You didn’t get any energy, any feedback, any extra lurve from the crowd. I just want to reassure you that I was shakin’ that thing from my perch atop a chair the whole night.

The cabaret style concert was also a surprise. Nowhere on our info, emails, or stuffs on the Ticketmaster website specified the cabaret. Which was fine, as I like a good plastic glass of beer while I’m enjoying good music. I must say, however, that this cabaret is nothing like the cabarets I attended during my university years. No mosh pit, no beer showers, no molestation on the way to the washroom {although some kind soul did spank my butt when they walked by my dance floor/chair, which was a bit of a flashback for me & made me giggle}. The ubiquitous smell of marijuana was present, so at least not all has been lost over the years.

Best of luck with the rest of your tour! I’ve ordered a CD.

Sincerely,
Wilma

My Evening Plans

Adventures In Driving Numero Deux

On our way in to The Big City on Wednesday afternoon, Puffy & I managed to get our near-death experience out of the way quickly so as to clear up the rest of our visit for more fun, less nerve-wracking adventures.

We were 5 - 10 km from the city limits when we looked ahead, & both said "What's that? What's going on?" Headlights, heading straight for us, in our lane.

Mayhaps someone passing? Nope. Mayhaps swerving to avoid debris/animals/crash site? Nadda. Old people obliviously driving on the wrong side of the road? Ding! You betcha.

I reached over to sound the horn {Puffy instinctively pushed my hand away, mistakenly thinking I was going to grab the wheel} as Puffy drove on the shoulder repeatedly blowing the horn as they passed us. Nothing. They didn't even LOOK at us. A little ways up the road, a delivery truck/tradesperson vehicle had been sucked into the ditch by the snow as they had swerved onto the shoulder to avoid a head-on collision.

My suggestions?

• Anyone who didn't actually have to take their driving test to get their licence back in the day must take one now. My grandfather, rest his soul, just walked into the licencing place, slapped down $5 & walked away with a driver's licence that he faithfully renewed until the year he died. He was also the man driving through town with cruise control on, & so serves as a good example of why older people need to go for frequent driving exams.
• Anyone over the age of 70 should have to take a driving exam every 2 years, at the very least.
• Anyone under the age of 70 should have to take a driving exam every 10 years, at the very least.
• Super-geniuses, naturally, are exempt.