School Daze

Things have slowed down a little here at Casa Wilma.  After a 4 month hectic pace of rehearsing, competing at festivus, & 3 days of performing at home, we finally put "You've Got Hate Mail" to bed.  It was one of the toughest plays I've ever been involved in.

Let me tell you what my normal acting routine is:

• record lines with rest of cast at a table read.
• rehearse 3 nights a week
• listen to recorded lines every night for at least 3 weeks.
• spend 1 day at the computer typing out lines.
• spend 1-2 days saying lines off my cues.
• put script away, never look at it again.
• recite lines in head each night as I am falling asleep.
  
  Now, here's what my routine was for this past production:
  
• record lines with rest of cast at table read.
• rehearse 3 nights a week.
• read over lines every day.
• forget about recording... find it 4 weeks into rehearsal process.
• listen to recorded lines sporatically, mind wandering the whole time.
• spend 4 days at computer typing & retyping out lines.
• spend every day trying to say lines off my cues.  Fail.  Cheat & look at my line sheet.
• look at script every day.
• flub lines during tech rehearsal the day of festival performance.
• frantically study script in green room in full costume 1/2 hour before performance.
• run lines every day while on treadmill.
• make some errors during performances at home.  Every night.
• thank jeebus it is all over & file my script away with the other. {on an unorganized pile of theatre memorabilia}
  
  I don't know why it was so hard this time.  I don't know why I struggled so badly.  I can only assume it was a combination of age, lack of practice, the unique circumstances of the play {no interaction between characters} & laziness.
  
  BUT!  Now that's over, I can start to really concentrate on my studies!
  
  Let's just hope I fair better on my courses than I did with my lines!

I Am Not A Waitress... Or A Receptionist

I did something a little bold, a little daring, a teeny, tiny, wee bit exciting this week.


I auditioned for a movie.


Yup.  A real, live movie.  Like with a director & scripts & cameras & everything!  


Tuesday I received a mass email from the provincial theatre organization that our little group in Dodge belongs to ~ a casting call for a movie being filmed right here in good ol' Saskabush.  I looked at it briefly on my phone & didn't see anything that applied to me {hey, I may be young-ish, but I can't pass for 17} & then went back to work.  


When I got home, I decided I better take a good look at that email before I delete it.  Wouldn't you know it, 3 of the female characters they were casting were in my age range!  Point ~ Wilma.
2 of them were for jobs I've actually held in my life! Point ~ Wilma.  1 of them was for a bleached blonde!  Point ~ Wilma.  But the deciding point?  The reason I took the plunge?  The movie is set in the fictional town of "Conrad".  What is my nickname for my mother?  Conrad.  I think I saw clouds part & a bright ray of sun shine down on my head while a chorus of "Hallelujah!" rang out.


I emailed a friend who has some experience.  "Should I phone or email for an audition?  What should I say?  Should I say I have no film experience?"  Her replies were wise & reassuring.  "Email is better.  Tell them what you want & No Way!  They don't need to know you've never done any film."


I composed the email {short, sweet & to the point} clicked SEND & exhaled.


Tuesday night, around 11:30, I got an email back from the casting director, scheduling an audition for Thursday afternoon for 2 of the roles ~ Waitress & Receptionist {no names}.  I crapped my pants a little {at my age, how gauche!} & started to panic.  What the hell was I doing?  & where was I going to get a headshot & acting resume in one day?


I emailed a couple of friends "in the biz" asking for advice on the resume.  I Facebooked a couple of photographer friends pleading for help on short notice.  I crapped my pants again. {It was starting to get embarrassing} 


I slept about 12 minutes.


I WORKED Wednesday morning {for crap's sake - no pun intended} & rushed home to do up my resume.  What roles have I had?  What workshops have I taken?  What acting/characterization/script analysis courses did I do?  Who remembers all that? ACK!  I cobbled it together as best I could.  Thankfully, Jethro was available to take my photo.  I packed in a rush & headed off in The Rocket to Stoon, my hands shaking like I'd just downed a double espresso.


Off to Jethro & Mreen's for headshots.  Then supper {with alcohol thank you jeebus} then bed. & scene analyzing.  & line study.  & line memorizing.  {4 lines}& character development.  & line memorizing.


The audition was in a part of town I'm not familiar with, so I left early {wait.  That doesn't sound like me...} & found the studio with no trouble.  Had 20 minutes to kill, so I spent it in the car doing deep breathing exercises to relax while thinking about my take on the characters.  12 minutes before my audition time, I went in, expecting a room of actors.  


It was empty.  I sat, my heart in my throat, but not as nervous as I thought I should be.  I had spent the last day crapping my pants, after all.  I expected some nausea, mayhaps a little fainting.  I honestly was more nervous the last time I stepped out on stage than I was sitting in that empty room, clutching my newly acquired headshots & fantastic, not last-minute-at-all resume.  Weird.


The casting director came for me.  We entered a little room with a camera and 2 chairs, the camera girl looking remarkably trendy & more than a little bored.  We ran the scenes, 3 times each, & that was that.   I was a little confused when she asked me to take my shirt off, but I'd come this far so what the hell?  All I kept thinking was, "Good thing I didn't wear anything with buttons, cuz they would be so awkward to fumble with right now."  KIDDING!  I kid.  HA!


& that's the story of my first movie audition.  Actually, that's the story of my first audition.  Evah.  I've been involved in theatre for 17 years, had numerous parts, both big & small, & have never had an audition before.  

I didn't get the callback email.  I'd kinda hoped I would, cuz I wanted to know what the next phase would be like, what the process was, but I didn't expect to.   After all, it was only my first audition. 


I really didn't expect it to be SO FUN! 

No Longer "Ill"

This fall, we had a busy schedule with our little theatre group here in Dodge.  Sometime during the summer, we were contacted by a lady in Harmony to see if we would be willing & able to be the HIRED entertainment for her corporate Christmas party.  We were able to negotiate a lovely amount for compensation, & we jumped at the chance to make some extra funds for the club, as well as earn some possible new audience members.  


We were already entered in Festivus, & had decided to do an emotional, comedic drama about 4 women ~ a bride & her bridesmaids ~ getting ready in the hour before the wedding.  This was a play that I had read many years ago & always adored.  It had it all ~ comedy, drama, some really good, meaty scenes, complex characters that our actors could really sink their teeth into.  I was thrilled to bits to be doing it.   

The only wrinkle in the plan was they wanted at least 1.5 hours of entertainment {even closer to 2 hours if possible} & "Ladies in Waiting" was maybe an hour if we really stretched it.  A-HA!  Now was finally my chance to do a little play, a little one woman show, that I had seen in 2006; a gritty, hilarious, quirky little play that I had desperately wanted to perform for years. So, the schedule was set ~ I would perform "Ill", & direct everyone else in "Ladies in Waiting".  {I had always planned to be in LinW, but didn't think I could possibly handle learning lines for 2 different parts. Plus, I mean, come on, don't be greedy Wilma!}


& so, on we went, rehearsing LinW 3 nights/week, & me learning my lines for "ill" on the off nights.  Okay, well on some of the off nights.


Things were shaping up nicely.  We organized a pub night at home to fund-raise for expenses related to traveling to Festivus.  We rehearsed.  We solidified plans for the Harmony show.  We rehearsed some more.  I slowly learned some of my lines.  We rehearsed.


Then, a frantic message from TheatreCentral ~ one of the participating groups had to back out due to illness.  Was anyone working on something else that they could quickly get ready & bring to Festivus?  Why, yes!  I offered, & our entry was readily accepted.  Now we were bringing both plays to Festivus!  Crap!  I better learn my lines.  We better have a few more rehearsals.  I better learn.  My.  Lines. Oh sweet jeebus, I need to learn my lines!


My first-time director was infinitely patient with me.  I would have lost my nut if I were directing a lazy actor like me, but he was calm & cool, patient & kind, positive & reassuring.  


I want whatever drugs he is on.


We held our pub night in October & it was a roaring success.  We made enough profit to cover almost all festival expenses.  We headed off to Festivus {a 6 hour drive away} & had a great weekend of fun.  The Five Foot Fury won an acting award, & {despite all evidence to the contrary, as is normally a humble person} turned Diva on us immediately, demanding special treatment & amusing us all greatly with her proclamations of "Don't you know who I am?  I won an award!"

Our 6 hour trip turned into a 9 hour return due to snow, snow & more snow.  I can honestly say I have no interest in seeing the inside of a vehicle for months.  Months!


Last night, we performed at the Christmas party to a crowd of 150 very attentive, generous people who listened respectfully, laughed all over the place, & were one of the best audiences I have ever seen.  We performed in spite of a hockey game going on at the same time, noisy cooler motors cutting in & out, cell phones ringing in the audience, caterers clanging & banging every pot, pan, dish & warming tray they had, & several people arriving late to the party. 

& with that performance last night, we wrapped up another fall season of plays.  


I am tired.  I am sore.  I am hurt.  I am verra, verra thankful to be done.  

What did this experience teach me?  

• My brain is no longer 18 {the last time I did a one woman show}.  
• I should not split my focus between 2 plays or both will suffer.   
• I'm not as good a director as I think I am.
• BammBamm is a great director.
• The Five Foot Fury is even funnier than I thought.
• Sometimes, it is really gratifying to do something you've wanted for a long time.
• There aren't enough words to describe how much I appreciate Mauve & her talents, some learned from her momma The Queen of Halloween, & some developed on her own.  I am thrilled to have such an amazing stage manager!
• As scary as it is to be on stage alone, with no one to rely on but yourself, sometimes yourself is all you need. 
• I will continue to challenge myself, continue to do look for things that are more difficult & not take the easy way out.  The chance of failure is higher, but the rewards when successful are much sweeter.

Just Call Me Clumsy Carp

You know how everyone always says “Break a leg!” before a performance?  No?  Well, they do.  It’s a theatre tradition, a theatre superstition.  You never say “Good luck!” or some evil will befall your production.  “Break a leg!” is the theatre way of wishing someone a good performance.
Well, I almost took that literally last night.  We have been hired as the entertainment for a corporate Christmas party, so last night we headed to Harmony to take our set & props & have a quick rehearsal to get used to the space.  This space:


Now, Dodge may not be a booming metropolis, but we sure as shit have a kick-ass hall to perform in! 
This is their community hall.  The place people rent for weddings, anniversary parties, & Christmas parties.  The place where dinner theatres are performed. AND it’s above the rink.  Yup. There was a hockey game going on last night which we could watch through handy windows along the side of the, ahem, “hall”.


These are their stage lights.  Yup.  That’s it.  OH!  & the blue valance curtains are rimmed with fluorescent lights.  Yup. Tubed, fluorescent lights!
Harmony is over twice the size of Dodge.  It boggles the mind!

Anyhoo, so we were figuring out just what we were going to do, when MistyLou discovered the stage curtains, cleverly hidden behind Door #2
 
We wanted to see what they looked like, check out our options, so I started pulling them out along the track that rims the “stage” {or “Giant Box on the Floor”}.  They came in two sections & as I stepped in to grab the other section that was just out of my reach, I soon learned that the floor was not where I assumed it to be ~ that is, level with the stage ~ but 3 feet lower.  I learned the hard way, literally, as I fell in a heap through Door #2 into the inky blackness of the curtain cubbyhole.

Would now be a good time to mention that I’ve been experiencing severe back problems which have included several trips to the hospital for a shot of muscle relaxers in my ass, 3 visits to the doctor, 1 emergency room stop, & enrollment in physio?

Yeah.  It’s been a great fall.  Literally.

Thank jeebus that I woke this morning with bruises & sore spots, but no re-injury of my back {so far ~ knock on wood}.  I think the pain killer & muscle relaxer I popped as soon as I got home last night might have saved me.
I am SO this guy:

image courtesy of www.comicvine.com

TV? What's That?

Did you know you can watch TV shows on your computer?  Huh, didja?


Oh, you did?  Why am I always the last to know everything?


I was busy this evening with paperwork ~ yes, I don't understand how someone with 2 casual crap jobs ends up with 3 volunteer positions filled with meetings & paperwork, but there you go.  That's my lot in life {le sigh}.  So I missed the big debut of Ashton Krutcher on 2 1/2 Men.  Woe is me.  I'll watch it tomorrow.  Or not at all.  I miss Charlie....


Last night was a shit night for sleep.  I am refinishing a piece of furniture in the garage & needed to put a second coat on today as the garage door man is coming tomorrow to fiddle-fart around putting the new overhead door in, & I had big, grandiose plans of getting up at 7 AM & getting busy with the brush before work. 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!.....breathe.....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ok.  I've calmed down.  But I really did have these plans.  I had my alarm set & everything!  Then, I had an absolute shit night, complete with headache, back ache, leg ache, & 2 annoying visits from Princess Diva. Oh, let's not mention the 2 trips to the bathroom {stoopid tea!} & the persistent glow from the laptop cord.


Needless to  say, I didn't just hit the snooze this morning.  Nope.  I reprogrammed the alarm completely to attempt to get the sleep I desperately needed to face:

• work
• place-where-I-worship board meeting
• Oldsters sing-song
• 2 play rehearsals
• reviewing financial reports

Ugh.  My brain hurts just thinking about it.  


I bailed on work this afternoon after the sing-song, came home and wielded the brush like the trooper/home decorator that I am.  1 rehearsal was cancelled due to illness, & I did manage to get the most pressing financial reports read.


My bed is calling me.  What's it saying?  "Avast, ye scurvey dog!  Get thee to bed, wench, & shiver me timbers!"

This man, this Doug Savage of savagechickens.com?  He's a freakin' genius.   YAR!

Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day.