New Suave Porn News

Here.

And in related news, Storm Large & the Balls are performing in Stoon at the Roxy July 19th. Ticket info.

Suave Porn Update

FYI ~ I am updating the Suave Porn site on a semi-regular basis with news & tidbits that I find on the interweb. I'm not going to post a notice here everytime I update, so if you have a passing interest in what the boys are doing, check there on a semi-regular basis for news, gossip & photos.

More Suave Porn

Found out some more stuffs.

Click here and here for more info.

And yes, I do have a life. I just like to keep in the know.

New Suave Porn News

Read it here.

Suave Porn Update

Read it here.

For Those Who Care About That Sort Of Thing

There's FINALLY been some action over at Suave Porn. As BawkBawk would say, "Check it out!"

No More Rockstar Postings

For all the boys and girls out there who like my blog, and are disappointed to see it become all about a {gasp} reality TV show, this notice is for you.

Any and all further musings, descriptions, ruminations, analysis, discussions etc. about Rockstar:Supernova will now appear on it's own separate blog which you can find here:

http://suaveporn.blogspot.com

We now return you to our regularily scheduled programming.

Can't Believe I Forgot This!

From Rockstar:Suave Porn (this anagram is SOOOOOO much better than the name they picked out in a crack pipe hallucination) ~ we've decided that Lukas looks like what would happen if Dwight Yoakam and Clint Howard spawned a baby.

Goodbye Matt, Don't Get Comfy Chris

Rockstar Elimination Episode
Bottom Three:
Chris, Phil & Matt. {So I only got 1 right, so what? I'm still ultra-smrt}

Dilana gets the encore. Whatever.

Chris sings "LA Woman" by The Doors. His stage presence is SOOOOO bad.
Phil sings "Stars" by Switchfoot. Having never heard the original, I can't compare but I do think that his absence of a chin is causing the mumbling.
Matt sings "Planet Earth" by Duran Duran, but tells Supernova he's going to "rock it up". And how is he going to accomplish this? By changing the key to D. I really think the poor lad was simply confused. He thought he was auditioning for the job as back-up singer for Nick Lachey, and stumbled into the wrong room by accident.

On the plus side, producer Mark Burnett has found his winning formula for this show ~ the Canadian guy acts like a shit-ass, says something stupid and pisses everyone off.

I query ~ "Will Lukas be allowed to redeem himself and prove that he's really a nice guy under all that hair gel and makeup?" "How much ADD medication should T.Lee be on?" "Who will Gilby say sucks next time?" Tune in next week to find the answer these and other startling questions on another exciting episode of Rockstar:Supernova.

Rockstar Supernova: The Obsession Begins

The show that took up so much of my life last year is back and I'm already hooked. Rockstar:Supernova. First, let me just say how incredibly lame the name of the band is. Talk about setting yourself up for failure. Or maybe they think they'll go down in a blaze of glory, exploding like a star going supernova. Who knows? I think they all got stoned one night and threw pieces of a thesaurus in a hat and pulled out this and said "Yeah, man, that's like the best band name ever!"

Who am I kidding? As if these three guys would own a thesaurus! Or could spell thesaurus. Or have ever heard of a thesaurus.
Although, Tommy Lee did go to college, so maybe he picked up some book learnin' along with some co-eds during his time there.

Let's also note, there is already a band with the name Supernova. Google them. It's true.

Anyway, first impressions.
Storm – The Who “Pinball Wizard” ~ as my friend's 13 year old daughter said "She sings like Cher. And not in a good way"
Ryan – Goo Goo Dolls “Iris” ~ must not have made much of an impression, cuz I can barely remember this performance
Toby – Bob Dylan “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” ~ pretty ballsy to attempt this song in front of one of the guys who played it with Axl Rose singing his brilliant interpretation. Not so good.
Patrice – Jefferson Airplane “Somebody to Love” ~ best performance of the night. Loved her voice, stage presence, and hair.
Magni – Rolling Stones “Satisfaction” ~ the arrogance is shining through and who cares if you're one of the top 10 most recognizable singers in Iceland? Let's keep in mind that Iceland has a population of 299,388 (est July 2006). That doesn't impress me, and neither did your butchering of this song.
Zayra – Evanescence “Bring me to Life” ~ was outside smoking & missed this one. Heard I didn't miss much.
Jenny – Nickelback “How you Remind Me” ~ also outside smoking {I smoke King Size okay? Don't harass me!}. Heard it was bad.
Josh – Black Crowes “She Talks to Angels” ~ too nasally for my taste. Also, what's with the perma-grin? Must perfect his smoldering rockstar look if he hopes to have a chance.
Matt – Coldplay “Yellow” ~ the playing of this song left me cold. See what I did there, boys and girls? A little "wordplay" with "coldplay" hahahaha. God, I'm brilliant.
Dilana – Nirvana “Lithium” ~ what was that? I believe that she watched Rockstar:INXS faithfully and took to heart all the compliments Dave gave Marty when he performed this song. She even copied his body language. Freak.
Dana – Melissa Etheridge “I’m the Only One” ~ not a bad voice when she pushes it but too young and hick.
Phil – Living Colour “Cult of Personality” ~ finally! An original song choice. Too bad he dances like Beck. {Edit - not so original. Ty performed this in episode 1 of RS:INXS. No longer impressed.}
Jill – Janis Joplin “Piece of my Heart” ~ this little blondie from Long Island surprised me. Good voice. And if you cover her face from her nose down, she looks just like the drugged up bride bitch sister from "Sixteen Candles"
Chris – Police “Roxanne” ~ goodbye Chris. So nice not to know you. You really should be jailed for the criminal act you performed on this classic song last night.
Lukas – Billy Idol “Rebel Yell” ~ why is the creepiest, pedophile-looking guy from Canada? Who let him out? Why do we have border guards? Performance okay, but there was something wrong with his mic. All I could hear was the band.

House Band ~ still rock like crazy maniacs. Love them. When are they going on tour?

Predictions:
Bottom 3 ~ Chris, Magni, Jenny
Final 5 ~ okay, maybe it's too early for this.

Very disappointed in the talent {or lack thereof} displayed by contestants this year. The INXS wannabe's blew them all out of the water, except maybe Daphna who massacred "Rock the Casbah", and let's face it, walked like she had a full diaper.

So anyway, despite the crap I'm sure I'll have to put with from this bunch on stage, I will continue to watch, if only for the plethora of weird faces Tommy Lee makes while listening to the "auditionees" butcher well-known, beloved rock songs.

Oscar Party Blues

Went to Pebbles and BamBam's last night for the annual Oscar Party and Competition. Out of a possible 48 points, I scored a measly 18 and came in last. Once again, the coveted "Not the Loser" trophy has slipped out of my grasp. It will be shared this year by Betty and J-Rod, Betty being a two-time winner.
Am rethinking my strategy of going in blind knowing nothing about anything, and may actually watch some of the nominated movies next year.
On the plus side, Jon Stewart was a great host, making fun of Hollywood with a sly wit. We were laughing ~ guffawing really~ while the Hollywood elite teehee'd politely. My theory is that they hadn't eaten anything all day in order to fit into their clothes, thus were suffering from low blood sugar. That, or they just didn't get it.