Monday, July 28, 2008

Bambis, Babies, & Bullshit

Last week, as I drove to the Land of Loose, I saw a deer with two spotted bambis eating the hay swath in the ditch. The sight of those sweet little creatures, munching away while keeping one eye firmly glued on mamma, kept a smile on my face for 8 miles.

Baby creatures melt my heart. Baby kitties, calves, colts, small birds learning to fly, even puppies, make the cynic in me sit down, shut up & say "Awwwwww!".

Baby humans, on the other hand, do not have this effect on me. They never have. I have never seen a baby & said "Awwwwww! Can I hold him/her?" I may peek in the car seat/carriage/stroller thingy just to be polite {I've learned that new moms think the whole world should be as enamored with their offspring as they are, & it's just easier to take a cursory look, comment on the amount of hair/how big their eyes are/size of their cheeks & get it over with}, but I've never had an attraction reaction to a child. They all look alike to me with their Tweetie Bird eyes, wobbly necks & big, round Charlie Brown heads.

But, you know all this. I've talked about this before, several times in fact. I thought I'd been adamant {this word always makes me laugh cuz Puffy pronounces it 'Adam Ant' to amuse me ~ & let's face it, poor ol' Adam Ant slipped into obscurity at an alarming rate, n'est pas?} about our blissful, childfree state. I thought I'd been clear in our intentions to stay that way. I thought "that question" was firmly & finally banished from our lives.

I thought wrong.

The Krackers gathered for a Kracker Family Ho-Down Reunion, Bonfire & Drinkfest a week ago. It was fun. It was great to see everyone. The fireworks display was awesome ~ better than the Land of Loose, IMHO, as it came complete with brother-in-law Bear jumping & dancing around several crackers shooting his way {singed leg hair an added bonus of the reunion, & at no extra cost to you!}. 68 of the possible 85 Krackers, Kracker spouses & off-spring made for a great weekend.


The bullshit happened. I got The Question. Popped at me by one of the nieces. Who has popped this question at me before.

What I wanted to say? "I'm 37 facking years old & my uterus is starting to dry up ~ just the way I like it ~ & just cuz you have birthed 3 kids doesn't mean everyone wants to end up in that situation."

What did I say? "Not going to happen."

Her response? "Oh, I had a friend who was just like you ~ she never wanted to have kids & I talked her into it & now she has two & she's so thankful that I talked her into having some."

Well, she's not like me. Cuz this is not something I can be "talked into". Obviously, she wanted to have kids, or she wouldn't have had them. Simple.

Her other well thought-out & scientifically researched argument? "It's completely different when they're your own."

I am aware that it is different when they are your own. You can't give them back.


Kyanite said...

I'm right there with you Wilma.
Baby animals etc arghhhh!
My heart melts.
Human babes yuk, yuk, yuk.

And, nothing annoys me more than then people say what shame you don't have any children.
I never wanted any thank-you!

Wilma said...

Having been raised by a woman who was, um, lukewarm to the idea of children {to put it politely}, I can safely say that sometimes it's a shame when people have children.

Fairy Mae said...

I don't care if other people have kids. Don't push them on me. They are theirs not mine. I will talk to or play briefly with older kids like 5 and up. I think babies look like little worms. All wrinkly and pink. I have seen a few that actually look human but then again, I have only looked at them. My family knows better any more than to ask when I am having kids.

Anonymous said...

OMG Blanche

You should have kicked her in the piss flaps.

Enough is enough

"I talked her into having kids"(I don't think so honey)

Long live the Free (Sprog Free that is)