Saturday, March 01, 2008

Answer Gal ~ Christmas

So, Answer Gal, just why is it that you & Puffy spend Christmas alone
with the door locked when you have so many family members living close by?

Will gladly answer this question with a story. A true story. A story that just happened today. Get comfy, boys & girls, & enjoy.

Am going through my closet today, getting rid of everything that pisses me off, doesn't fit right, doesn't look good, & generally just makes me nauseous. This includes quite an assortment of dress clothes that I thought I'd be wearing to work, but really, that I just hate with a passion cuz the crotch doesn't fit right & the waist is too high & basically, I must have really been feeling my inner matron when I bought them.

Being in a relatively good mood & feeling kinda generous, I decide to phone Conrad to see if she wants some new/old clothes instead of just putting them in the SallyAnne pile. Here's how the convo went:

Moi: What size pant are you wearing now?
Conrad: Oh, a 14. Why?
Moi: I'm going through my closet & getting rid of everything that doesn't fit.
Conrad: {in a smug, amused voice} Oh, outgrew them, did you?
Moi: {instantly pissed off} Uh, no actually, they outgrew me.
Conrad: {surprised} Oh! Well, how did you manage that?
Moi: {desperately wanting to get off the phone, good mood gone, generous feeling depleted} Just watching, you know, what I've been doing.
Conrad: Oh.

Let's recap for all the boys & girls just joining us. Wilma has lost 30 pounds in the last 4 years. & is still losing. Everyone I know comments on how good I've been looking & asking if I've lost weight. Everyone, that is, except Conrad, who is too busy telling me how fabulous Whoopi looks now that she's lost some weight.

& that, my friends, is why I spend Christmas alone in my pj's when Conrad & Bronco B only live 30 minutes away.


french panic said...

this reminds me of the time about 11 or 12 years ago when I was living at home while at university. My mom brought home some underwear that she found on sale. One size too small. Also, most definitely not the style or colour of underwear that I like - and underwear that I did not request.

She told me to lose some weight, then they'll fit. (When I told her I didn't like them, no matter what size, she made one of those snorting sounds and asked "well, who is ever going to see you in them, anyway?" Um. Gee. Thanks, mom.)

She also told me a few weeks ago that she preferred me when I was younger.

Now, if all the people with happy, functional, wonderful families would just stop assuming that EVERYONE has happy, functional, wonderful families.

Wilma, Conrad sucks. I don't even KNOW you and I'm proud of you!

Wilma said...

Yeah, sometimes she does suck. & sometimes she pulls through for me when all around me fail to support. It's the love/hate circle of life that is my family.

This just re-iterates my belief that people who don't want children should not become parents.

Thanx for your proudness ~ if I knew how, I'd blush!

tobacco brunette said...

That's terribly unpleasant. I'd spend Christmas alone, too.

Just recently came across your blog and really enjoy it.

Wilma said...

Thanx TB. Oooh, that sounds unpleasant. Maybe I'll have to think of a better short name for you.

Baccy? Tob? Brun?

Mayhaps I should just not be lazy & use the name you've got.

tobacco brunette said...

LOL - never made the TB jump in my head. None of the other options are all that appealing either.

Will need to think on it. Hope your back is feeling better.