Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Emergency Room ~ A Review

Last night, being bored with life in general & craving an adventure, I decided to check out the service at the Dodge Emergency Room. Let me tell you, the place ranks highly!

Speed & Efficiency ****1/2 out of 5
Compassion *****
Service ****1/2
Employee Knowledge & Experience ****1/2
Patient Recognition *****
Satisfaction Level ****1/2

Overall Ranking ****2/3

Now, for the confession. No, there was no heart-attack, no stroke, no broken bones, no flare-up of any of the various ailments I actually do suffer from. It was such a silly, stupid thing to have to visit the emergency room for. I got something in my eye.

I was removing my makeup with a cotton pad, & when I swiped over my right eye, some fibres came off & became lodged in the corner of my eye under the upper eyelid {presumably because I buy the absolute cheapest cotton pads I can find}. After a relatively silent 15 minute struggle trying to remove the jagged boulder from my precious baby blue, I woke up PK for help. He insisted we go to emerg & get professional help.


11:55 pm ~ Rock of Gibraltar wedges in my eye
12:10 am ~ wake up PK
12:20 am ~ decide to go to emerg
12:25 am ~ am laying down in the Wilma Flintstone Reserved Emerg Bed getting attention from compassionate, experienced RN who calls me BY NAME on sight
12:35 am ~ Doctor is called
12:40 am ~ RN explains all the steps that will be taken to blast offending Mount St. Helen's out of my ocular area
12:45 am ~ Doctor arrives & gets right to work {examines, freezes then applies dye to the eye to find gravel pile hiding in my eye}
12:55 am ~ eye area washed by compassionate RN, eye patch is applied {using special, hypo-allergenic adhesive cuz I am a sensitive lady with sensitive skin}, eye drops supplied & released for home
1:07 am ~ am in bed with lights out

Where else would you get that level of competent service that fast? Where else can you walk into emergency & be on a bed instantly? People deride small towns all the time, but I'll tell you something, I'm glad as hell to be living here when shit goes down. Cuz I should be treated like a super-star & get service right away.

You better all get your donations in to the new Dodge Hospital Fund. You never know what calamity will hit me next.

Oh yeah, & be careful when using these. They should come with a warning label!


Headgirl said...

That's amazing service!
Gee are you fortunate I've satfor 4 hrs with a broken wrist waitng to be seen, let alone ex-rayed!

Headgirl said...

Hope the eyes nt to uncomfortabe now!

flibirdijibit said...

Oh, great use of the new word we like Wilma! It was definitely an 'O Calamity! OOOOOHHHH Disaster' moment.

OOOOOOH it's murder.

I like our 'pital too.

Oh Joy said...

Well after I found out WHY you were there I laughed myself SILLY over it. But we are lucky b/c in S'toon you would have waited for DAYS to get help (literally). Our very own K-town hospital is the 'pital of choice for my pappy when his ailments flare up. I've only visited the place with others (like the commenter above...ahh, wasn't that a good time?!!) and once with the guy who chopped off his finger in my yard.

velvis said...

I was quite stressed at first reading your story, however glad it all worked out, I have one question for you...what are you doing removing your makeup at midnight you should have been asleep for two good hours by then!!

Miss you and glad your see-ers are all cleared up!!

Wilma said...

Velvis - you know me, why go to bed when I can be up playing Prairie Scramble on the Corner Gas website?