Revolutions & Resolutions

We're in a new year, & like many people, my thoughts are moving to the future. What do I want out of this year? What shall I try to accomplish? Where will I go? What will I do? What am I going to strive for? What the hell do I want to be when I grow up?

Lofty goals are not usually my forte. Recently, I wasn't able to think of anything more long-term than what to snack on & do I have to pee. When you have the FoggyBrain, goals & resolutions aren't within your realm of existence. Breathing, eating, & possibly getting dressed are.

As I sit here in the dungeon that passes for an office in Chez Wilma, I realize that I am not only lazy & a procrastinator, but I am damn good at being both, mayhaps even gold medal good. I see boxes that have not been unpacked in almost 7 years, photographs ~ still in the paper envelopes ~ that have not been sorted or put in books for 18 years. I see piles of bills & crap & newspaper clippings & nonsense & jokes & printouts of what-nots & I want to scream. But I don't, cuz the DemonSpawn would get scared & not come near me for another 10 days & I don't think my poor heart can handle the rejection. He's so touchy. Yeesh!

I turn around in my chair, gawking at everything & getting slightly nauseous as I try not to imagine all the plethora of hours it is going to take to get this room, this ONE ROOM, under control & organized, not to mention the rest of la maison. I turn around in my chair, looking at the alphabetized book shelves groaning under the weight of novels, videos & DVDs juxtaposed with cardboard boxes, plastic grocery bags & piles overflowing with mementos from the past 20 years of my life. I turn around in my chair & get mesmerized by the blank wall cuz it looks so clean & tidy in comparison. All these revolutions in this cramped, crowded room are urging me to make some resolutions.

I don't make resolutions. I think it's just a self-perpetuating ritual of failure. I like to make suggestions ~ preferably to other people. I read a couple of years ago that you shouldn't make resolutions, you should pick 5 or 6 words to describe how you want to live your life, make yourself a kind of life-mantra. For the last 2 years mine has been "Clear Clutter. Reduce Materialism. Relax." I think it's been such a good little mantra, hovering on the edge of my consciousness for the last 730 days, that I'm going to reward it by renewing the mantra for a 3rd year. What do they say ~ 3rd times a charm?

What can it hurt? It's already helped. Why just today, I went through a stack of papers containing 1 full year's worth of bills & statements, organized them, filed them, & threw away any bills older than 2007 which were lingering in my file cabinet. That's right, boys & girls, I had not filed or sorted anything for ONE WHOLE YEAR.

Sadly, this did not make one bit of difference in the appearance of the dungeon besides cleaning off a chair. BUT! I cleaned off a chair! Yes ~ as Monty Python advised ~ always look on the bright side of life.

What shall I do tomorrow? The opportunities are endless. Really & truly endless, as I have neglected everything for far too long. My mind boggles with possibilities, causing it to spin.

Revolutions to resolutions to revolutions. Mayhaps this is the true circle of life.