Saturday, January 05, 2008

Revolutions & Resolutions

We're in a new year, & like many people, my thoughts are moving to the future. What do I want out of this year? What shall I try to accomplish? Where will I go? What will I do? What am I going to strive for? What the hell do I want to be when I grow up?

Lofty goals are not usually my forte. Recently, I wasn't able to think of anything more long-term than what to snack on & do I have to pee. When you have the FoggyBrain, goals & resolutions aren't within your realm of existence. Breathing, eating, & possibly getting dressed are.

As I sit here in the dungeon that passes for an office in Chez Wilma, I realize that I am not only lazy & a procrastinator, but I am damn good at being both, mayhaps even gold medal good. I see boxes that have not been unpacked in almost 7 years, photographs ~ still in the paper envelopes ~ that have not been sorted or put in books for 18 years. I see piles of bills & crap & newspaper clippings & nonsense & jokes & printouts of what-nots & I want to scream. But I don't, cuz the DemonSpawn would get scared & not come near me for another 10 days & I don't think my poor heart can handle the rejection. He's so touchy. Yeesh!

I turn around in my chair, gawking at everything & getting slightly nauseous as I try not to imagine all the plethora of hours it is going to take to get this room, this ONE ROOM, under control & organized, not to mention the rest of la maison. I turn around in my chair, looking at the alphabetized book shelves groaning under the weight of novels, videos & DVDs juxtaposed with cardboard boxes, plastic grocery bags & piles overflowing with mementos from the past 20 years of my life. I turn around in my chair & get mesmerized by the blank wall cuz it looks so clean & tidy in comparison. All these revolutions in this cramped, crowded room are urging me to make some resolutions.

I don't make resolutions. I think it's just a self-perpetuating ritual of failure. I like to make suggestions ~ preferably to other people. I read a couple of years ago that you shouldn't make resolutions, you should pick 5 or 6 words to describe how you want to live your life, make yourself a kind of life-mantra. For the last 2 years mine has been "Clear Clutter. Reduce Materialism. Relax." I think it's been such a good little mantra, hovering on the edge of my consciousness for the last 730 days, that I'm going to reward it by renewing the mantra for a 3rd year. What do they say ~ 3rd times a charm?

What can it hurt? It's already helped. Why just today, I went through a stack of papers containing 1 full year's worth of bills & statements, organized them, filed them, & threw away any bills older than 2007 which were lingering in my file cabinet. That's right, boys & girls, I had not filed or sorted anything for ONE WHOLE YEAR.

Sadly, this did not make one bit of difference in the appearance of the dungeon besides cleaning off a chair. BUT! I cleaned off a chair! Yes ~ as Monty Python advised ~ always look on the bright side of life.

What shall I do tomorrow? The opportunities are endless. Really & truly endless, as I have neglected everything for far too long. My mind boggles with possibilities, causing it to spin.

Revolutions to resolutions to revolutions. Mayhaps this is the true circle of life.


french panic said...

please tell me you didn't just throw away bills and statements with identifying information on it such as account numbers, your name, mailing address, etc.

You SHREDDED it all, right?

Wilma said...

Frenchie ~ thanx for your concern. Yes, all will be shredded.