Friday, October 20, 2006

Sisterhood Of Women, Bah!

There is always talk of the Sisterhood of Women, this fictional, non-existent belief that women stick together, supporting each other through life decisions & all sorts of other rubbish.

The truth is that women relish the chance to tear each other down. This is a fact. I've done a lot of research ~ I've talked to 4 people ~ & this is what I've found out through those interviews & life experience.

  • No matter what decisions you make as a woman, another woman will tell you you're wrong.
  • Someone will always make fun of you behind your back regarding clothing/hair/nail polish/husband/child-rearing, etc.
  • There is no Sisterhood ~ in fact, it's war out there!

A friend is currently in the process of adopting a child. This is a commendable decision that I fully support, even though I am a card-carrying member & founder of the CBC {Childfree Bitches Club} & this will mean that we lose another charter member. Recently, another woman asked her about her plans for mat leave. When told that said friend would try to take 4-5 months off work {she is self-employed} the other woman was aghast! She then proceeded to tell my friend that children are better off if their mothers can stay home for the first 5 years of their lives. FIVE YEARS! I'm thinking there is a tinge, a slight wiff of crack smoke in the air. Let's remember that this woman is an acquaintance, & not a close friend who can get away with flapping her lips about all & sundry. Let us also remember that this woman is a church friend. Is this what Jesus would do?

I have nothing against women who want to stay home with their children for an extended length of time {I personally think they are insane, but that is neither here nor there}. What pisses me off is the unmitigated gall of this woman to foist her opinion ~ & that's all it is, an opinion based on no scientific research~ on my friend to try to make her feel a) guilty that she isn't going to "provide the child with a solid base of mothering". and b) guilty that she is "putting her career over her child's welfare".

I've heard so much of this before. You can't win no matter what you do.

If you have kids, you have too many or you don't discipline them properly.
If you don't have kids, you're selfish.
If you only have 1 kid, it'll end up spoiled.
If you have kids & work, you're not a good mother.
If you have kids & don't work, you're lazy.

This needs to stop and stop now! We need to support our friends & stop tearing each other down. Life is hard. Life requires work. If we spend our energy working against others who are trying to make us feel guilty/bad/stupid for the decisions we make, we'll have no energy left to make a nice life for ourselves & our loved ones.

Women, bah! This is why I like to hang out with boys.


Anonymous said...

Amen sister. I totally agree 110% with this. Said friend does not have to feel guilt at all, TRUE friends and christians DO NOT treat people like that.


Anonymous said...

Thanks for the support. I do believe I am a co-founder (bitches?) of said Club, though I fear my membership will soon be revoked.

Anonymous said...

Being a full member of "CBC" i feel i have a right to comment on your rant.

I truely believe (this is the selfish part) that People with children should stay at home for five or ten years and not work.

I am sick and tired of listening to story after story about little Juan or Little Latisha from co-workers . I could care less that they drew on the walls or sang at breakfast or anything else that they actually did .

Before these people actually dropped a sprogg they could have inteligent conversations with other people.

It seems once you drop a sprogg all you can talk about is that precious
bundle of joy. And do you have to talk to your child like your a baby?
That one makes me sick to my stomach.

Don't get me wrong I commend people who have children as they sacrifice a hell of alot to produce offspring.

But this woman whoever she was, commenting on the five year thing was just looking out for the rest of us.

Wilma said...

That's an interesting take on the subject. Never considered that before.
I also get sick of the multitude of stories of the "amazing burping offspring" or some such rot.

Of course, it also depends on who is telling the stories. If it's about my nieces & nephews {& those I call my nieces & nephews} I can hear them all day.

Anonymous said...

oh of course of course