Saturday, January 09, 2010

I'm THAT Friend

I'm working my way through 365 Days of Grace ~ you may have noticed ~ & it's hard, hard, hard!  But the community of GiST is making it easier for me.  What a supportive, friendly, positive bunch of people! 

People think it's weird {& for "people" read "Conrad & Bronco B" & for "weird" read "our daughter needs therapy"} but I feel like I've made some real friends through that site, through this whole process.  & the other GiST members never fail to make a comment, or add an encouraging word to my posts.  Some have stalked followed me here & started visiting on a regular basis. I think that's all kinds of cool.  

I am not so good, however, with the commenting & encouraging & supporting.  I read their stuff.  I do.  Well, most days, unless life, theatre, Puffy, surfing the interweb, Facebooking, napping, or working get in the way.  I read, but I don't often leave a comment.  Or any sort of fingerprint that would reveal that I'd been there.  

I'm not a big commenter in the blog world, either.  I check out those links over there every day, but then I head out to do something else, rarely letting them know I've stopped by.  My Facebook friends get similar treatment.  Oh, how I lurve the "Like" button!  What a quick, easy, pain-free way to let someone know I've been around without having to strain my brain for something witty, supportive, consoling, or fabulous to say.  

Sweet jeebus, I have got a bad case of the lazay.

This got me thinking about my real life ~ real vs. virtual, you understand ~ & I've realized that I don't do much there, either.  I don't call a lot of people.  I rarely send an actual email that isn't a joke or a forward or pics.  The last letter I wrote was to my gramma in her Christmas cookie package, & before that?  Who knows!  

I am THAT friend.  The one who seldom makes the first contact.  The one who comes along if you call her, but probably won't be calling you.  The one who needs a lot of space... but not too much & it's up to you to figure out what that means.  The one who can't talk to you every day, but would like to talk occasionally.  The one who will gladly accompany you to Jesus Christ, Superstar... but most likely won't be arranging the trip & inviting you.  Is this why some days I feel a crushing loneliness?  Is this why when I do get on the phone, you can't get me off?  Is this a by-product of my painful childhood shyness?  Is it burn-out from organizing too many theatre trips/productions/herding the cats we call theatre folk?

Or am I just Procrastor, Queen of the Lazians?  

I do care.  I do like being around people.  I am interested in what you're doing, & I would like to be involved.  Apparently, I just don't show it very well.

Mayhaps this could be what I need to work on this year ~ being a more involved, pro-active friend.  

Or you could all just accept me for who I am, & continue to include me in your lives.  Yeah, that sounds like the simplest solution.   Let's go with that.


Roan said...

That last thought sounds perfect!

Queen of Halloween said...

Ditto on the last line! There is nothing wrong with being alone. Some people need lots of space [me]. If one doesn't give then they shouldn't expect to's what you can live with that matters. Close friends accept that's who we are. Friendship should be about quality not quantity.
I like who you are so stop mucking with yourself...;)!

Blue said...

No changes are necesssary Wilma - just be yourself.


Bruno Rocco said...

I luv you just the way you are, don't go messing with that now. cause then I'll get all confused.

I'm with the others the last line sums it up.

velvis said...

as has been said before....please don't change a thing I love you for what you are and wouldnt want it any other way!!