Monday, September 08, 2008

What's In The Water?

Last night, I had a breakdown. Not a car, not my bike {HA! like I ever ride it anyway, except on the hottest facking day of the year ~ true story} but a slight mental breakdown. I feel so silly, so dramatic.

I've been experiencing some bad muscle cramps in my back, neck, arm & rib cage ~ they are cramps/spasms that shoot all the way around to my chestular area, under the left breast. Yes, as an experienced hypochondriac, I was convinced I was having a heart attack.

One trip to the doctor, one visit to the lab for blood tests & an EKG, one treatment from the chiropractor later, & I'm a mess. I'm still a mess. The constant pain & naggingness of the spasms succeeded in dragging me down to a new low last night, as I fought with the blankets, my heating pad, a towel & my tears.

YES, I am aware there are people who are suffering from diseases & conditions in the world that are unparalleled by anything in my life. YES, I am aware that my pain is not the worst pain in the world. YES, I am aware that I should count my blessings & blaah, blaah, BLAAH! I don't want to hear any of it! I am at the end of my rope. I have been fighting this damn shoulder/back/cramp/spasm condition for YEARS & no matter what I do it won't GET THE HELL OUT OF DODGE. I've tried drugs {both OTC & prescription}, massage, chiropractics, physiotherapy, exercise {yes, I was that desperate}, lying around, nothing helps.

On top of that, every time I pass a mirror & see the 70s male teen idol wig that my hair has become I throw up a little in my mouth. Plus I've got a headache that won't quit, & two ~ count them TWO! ~ hangnails. Okay, I don't have any hangnails, obviously, cuz I just went to the spa, but it could happen. You don't know.

It doesn't get more pitiful than this.

Puffy informed me today that I'm like an old car that nickel & dimes you to death with always something going wrong, & he's going to trade up & trade me in.

I said I couldn't imagine what I'll be like at 60 ~ in fact, I didn't think I'd make it to 40. He replied, "Well, shit or get off the pot cuz I'm not getting any younger!".

I almost don't blame him.


Kyanite said...

I think we better start a support group, you, Fairy Mae & me, as none of us are in great shape.

Keep your chin up dear, you know I'm always on line for you.


Fairy Mae said...


Well, keep it thinking of you! XOXO

Anonymous said...

Check out the Tibetan Rites, ladies! I started doing them daily at the end of January, on my 49th birthday, and as of April I give them credit for reducing my monthly intake of prescription anti-inflammatories for neck/shoulder pain and related trauma from 8 to one. ONE! After 20 years of taking this medication, it seems like a miracle to me.
The rites take only 10 to 15 minutes and are not difficult, just a series of five repeated yoga-type exercises. You can find out how to do them by a web search. There is a great testimonial for them at my blog (, though you'd have to go back a month or two to find it) -- they seem to "fix" all kinds of things. Maybe they'd work for you.

Hope you're feeling better, Wilma.