My Kind Of Wisdom

• It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.


• You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on to the carpet.


• We have enough youth. How about a fountain of 'smart'?


• The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.


• A fool and his money can throw one hell of a party.


• When blondes have more fun, do they know it?


• Five days a week my body is a temple.The other two it's an amusement park.


• LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES. USE BIRTH CONTROL!


• Money isn't everything,but it sure keeps the kids in touch.


• Don't Drink and Drive. You might hit a bump and spill something.


• If at first you don't succeed, sky-diving is not for you.


• Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.


• We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.


• Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.


• One good thing about Alzheimer's is you get to meet new people every day.


• Friends don't let friends take ugly men home.


• Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.


• The more I learn about terrorism, the more I understand the phone company.


• The latest survey shows that three out of four people makeup 75% of the population.