Friday, April 11, 2008

An Open Letter To The Burger King in Confederation Plaza

Dear Burger King,

You suck. You really, really do.

I was recently craving a good ol’ greasy burger from your establishment & drove into the drive thru at 11:50 PM. I observed employees moving around inside the lit restaurant, plus a vehicle ahead of me in the drive thru lane.

When I approached the speaker, a disembodied voice called out to me “Sorry, we’re closed.” She didn’t sound sorry. Not in the least. I looked at the printed notice prominently posted on the speaker. “Open ‘til midnight or later” it said. It was a lie. A big lie.

I have driving narcoleptia. Once I get behind the wheel of the car, I get sleepy. Once I get into a car, I get sleepy. I can look at a car & need a nap. There are only 2 things that keep me awake: listening to the awesome mixed tape my cousin made me in 1981 ~ featuring several selections from Loverboy, Rick Springfield, The Rolling Stones, & Dexy’s Midnight Runners ~ & eating. So I really needed that burger & fries to keep me going & alive during my 200 KM drive home.

I had to settle for Tim Horton’s. TIM HORTON’S at midnight. Blaah.

Either change your sign or change your ways!


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