Thursday, March 15, 2007

Top 6 Responses To A Nosy Question

Even before Puffy & I got paperized, we were interrogated by people {family, close friends & nosy strangers} as to when we were going to have children. Those of you that know me know that I have never wanted kids ~ allright, except for a brief 10 minute drunken interlude in the bar in the late 90's, but that's it! & I've never done those kind of shooters again ~ it's just not the way I roll.

Don't get me wrong... there are some children that I enjoy being around. My nieces & nephews {although most of them are grown}, my friends' kids {in small groups, in small doses}, & my god-children are all great kids. I've gotten to know them & that makes a big difference. Nameless, random squalling children in public places... dislike them very much, especially the ones sitting next to me in a restaurant, on a plane, in the theatre, & they are always next to me!

I think it's admirable of myself to be self-aware & know my limitations regarding children. Well, maybe admirable isn't the right word, but what do you want from me? I just woke up 20 minutes ago. I know, I really KNOW, that I was not made to be a parent. I know, I really KNOW, that I would lose my temper/patience & do or say something that would scar the child for life. I know, I really KNOW this about myself, & so have planned my life accordingly.

You would think that after being together since 1987 & thus far not procreating, Puffy & I would be safe. You would surmise that people would get the hint that we are not going to breed. Sadly, this is not the case. Yes, boys & girls, I will admit that the question {the hateful, nosy question} does not come as often as it used to. But it still comes, & when we got paperized, there was a resurgence. It's invasive, & rude, & frankly, none of anyone's business but our own. What if we've been trying & have been unable to conceive? What if we've been turned down for adoption? What if we've been told it would be life-threatening to carry a baby to term? What if? That's my point. No one knows what all went into the decision not to have children ~ or if the decision was made for us.

So, here are my responses to "When are you going to have children?" :

6. Having kids would cut into my laying on the couch time.
5. The baby factory will not be open for business.
4. I gave it up for lent. Every year.
3. 2 days after the end of the world.
2. There are enough Krackers in the world.
1. We'd have to have sex first.

Honourable mentions:

  • I'm a great aunt several times over, & therefore much too old for that nonsense.
  • {with a tear in my eye} We can't, & thank you for bringing up such a painful subject.
  • Just because I'm capable of breeding doesn't mean I should or will.

I know this isn't the only nosy question that people are subjected to. "When are you getting married?" is another good one. Now, some people will claim that they are just showing interest in my life. Several times over? My life isn't that interesting. Well ~ yes it is, but that part of it isn't.

Let's make a deal: I won't ask you if you had sex last night, & you don't ask me when I'm going to breed.


Oh Joy said...

Wow. That brings up so many thoughts...

First, I wonder if you've seen me and mine on the streets and if so what vile thoughts went through your mind (though mine really are adoreably cute and most of the time completely well-behaved).

Secondly, was I really supposed to THINK about how I was going to emotionally scar them for LIFE before having them???

Thirdly, I can't help but think how much I am loving my Nutrigrain Sweet & Salty (almond) bar. I'm eating it right now.

Fourthly, I like no.1...and the great-aunt part of the honorable mention.

Fifthly, SO glad I never asked you this question (oh gosh, have I asked you? Doesn't seem like something I would ask...mostly b/c it's none of my darn business). Anyway, after reading that last line, I'm glad I didn't ask b/c obviously you would have felt lead to ask about my sex life. And then I'd have to tell you ALLLLLLL about it. And who wants that??!!! So I narrowly escaped there.

Wilma said...

1st - the only time I've ever seen your kids is when I came out for coffee many, many moons ago. So, no.
2nd - only those who doubt their parenting abilities believe they will scar their children. Anyone else believes they will be the best parent evah!
3rd - you need to try the Nature Valley Sweet & Salty Almond Bar. Heaven in a tinfoil wrapper.
4th - thankyou
5th - I think we both had a narrow escape there.

Oh Joy said...

1st - That's funny b/c I only had 2 of 3 kids then. I hide them away otherwise to sheild the world ya know.
2nd - Oh no, I don't think I'm that great. I'm okay with a little emotional scarring. I figure it's inevitable so I may as well go with it.
3rd - Duely noted and added to list.
4th - you are welcome.
5th - If you really feel you have to ever ask, you can ask my hubby who won't have a problem answering and making us all uncomfortable.

Bruno Rocco said...

Awesome rant girl I am so proud of you . I guess that's why i Luv yah so much.

velvis said...

ditto to what Bruno says

you rock!!

you are my rock!!

Wilma said...

Thanks you guys.