Grief is a Bitch

 My father died 6 weeks ago. He had congestive heart failure, and had been hospitalized 3 times last year for extended periods with symptoms including shortness of breath & fluid retention.

I know his quality of life was greatly diminished. I know he was limited in his abilities of movement and travel. And I know he was tired of spending so much time either in the hospital or travelling for appointments. I know.

And yet ~ I wish he were still here. I wish he could have fought a little longer. I am full of grief & wishes; the grief won't go away & the wishes won't come true. 

I am luckier than most. I really liked my dad. After my mom died 8 years ago, I spent a lot of time with him, & really got to know him as a person. I liked who he was. He was funny & smart & caring & kind, also quick-tempered & impatient & could swear better than anyone I've ever met. 

I don't need to canonize him, but I'm certainly not going to demonize him, either.

Today, I was trying to work on a writing project & all I can think of is him. 

I haven't cried since the doctor explained the medical issues he was experiencing and recommended we put him into comfort care. I don't know that I will. But I often feel like I'm on the edge of tears.

Grief is like snow. Today, I'm in a blizzard. 

I Got In Late Last Night

We recently said a premature goodbye to Puffy's oldest brother, who died of a massive coronary the end of June.

You were the embodiment of the Elks Motto: to promote and serve community needs, make life sweeter, men better and the world happier. 


Thank you for being such a good big brother to Puffy Kracker. You were a good man, in a world where not too many people can be described that way anymore.


Goodbye Freddy.

Conversations With Mini-Me

Bronco B & Conrad came to Chez Wilma for supper on his birthday.  The phone rings:


Moi: Hello?
Mini-Me: Hi Auntie Wilma.  It's Mini-Me.  Can I speak to Grandpa please?
Moi: Sure, but first you have to tell me the password, young lady.
Mini-Me: Um......... you rock?
Moi: Correct!  You're a good kid.


How can I not lurve a kid like that?

Mini-Me Makes Me Proud

My niece & two classmates make a difference...

Conversations With Puffy

Moi: I wonder if Bronco B is coming with Conrad when she visits tomorrow?
Puffy: Oh, is she coming back again? Better plan on making something for supper.
Moi: Yes.  The hobbits are back again.  Gosh!  They eat so often!
Puffy: How long is she staying?
Moi: I have no idea.  I finished that shirt I was sewing.
Puffy:  Already?!?
Moi: Yes.  Unlike Conrad, I like to work on a project until I'm done.
Puffy: Well, they have no sense of time or due dates.  They are like Mexicans ~ there's no rush, what doesn't get done today can be worked on tomorrow.
Moi: Yes!  They are Mexican Hobbits!  It takes them so long cuz they do so many things by hand when they could use a machine.  They are such techno-phobes.
Puffy:  Like the Amish.
Moi: YES!  They are Amish Mexican Hobbits! 


*******************************************************************************


Two hours later....
Moi: HA!  Amish Mexican Hobbits!  Hahahahahaha!
Puffy: You're going to blog about this, aren't you?
Moi: Absolutely.
Puffy: Am I going to credit for the parts I contributed?
Moi: Write your own damn blog if you want credit. 

The Hobbits

Here they are, in all their glory, back in the days of yore when Bronco B had hair & Conrad rawked the cat eye glasses.

 
I still think I was switched at the hospital...

For The Patient...

Here's another shot of Bronco B from back in the day, with one of his many, many horses that he trained.

Oh, to be young & fearless & strong & fun....

Keep Smiling M.J.

This past week, we said a premature good bye to Puffy's sister M.J. who passed away suddenly of a heart attack at the age of 45.

Thank you everyone for your kind words of condolence, for cards & flowers, phone calls & your support. It's during the hard times that you really appreciate your friends.

Farewell M.J. ~ light up the sky with your smile.